A Shelter in the Time of Storm

While I was at Southeastern, I had the privileged of meeting Paul Tripp. He along with his brother Tedd have written some of the best truly Biblical counseling books out there. The counseling classes at Southeastern were my favorite classes.

Paul Tripp has a new book just released entitled A Shelter in the Time of Storm based on Psalm 27. I was able to read a little bit of it online and it looks great. I would highly recommend it! Tripp writes,

"We really do live in a fallen world. We have not been given a ticket out of the brokenness of this world simply because we are children of God....The world we live in simply in not operating the way God intended.

There is a second thing we know for sure. There is a God of awesome grace who meets his children in moments of darkness and difficulty. He is worth running to. He is worth waiting for. He brings rest when it seems like there is not rest to be found.

But there is a third thing. You and I were not hardwired to make our way through this fallen world on our own. We were meant to exist with eyes filled with the beauty of his presence and hearts at rest in the lap of his goodness. This is what I love about the Psalms. They put difficulty and hope together in the tension of hardship and grace that is the life of everyone this side of eternity."

Amen and Amen.

Go here to order your copy: http://www.wtsbooks.com/product-exec/product_id/6170

Also I saw on the email I received that Elyse Fitzpatrick has a new book out as well for ladies entitled Comforts from the Cross. Anything written by her is excellent. These counseling books are books you will not be able to put down.

Weeky Schedule Part 2

Tuesdays

Pretty much the same thing except I wash Charlie and I’s clothes and towels. I go to Body Combat class sometimes at night. Starting in March, I will be teaching a Bible Study to women on Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety (Fitzpatrick) at the church from 7-8:30 pm till almost the end of May (12 weeks)

Wednesdays

We have been going to toddler time in the morning at 9:30 to 10:30 am. Late afternoon, I get ready to be at church by 6 pm for Charlie’s class that he teaches to parents going through the Baptist Faith and Message. Wednesdays are busy! We try to make it to church supper at 5 pm (Charlie always goes to the supper). Sometimes we do not get back till 8:30 pm at night on these nights.

Thursdays

I wash Jackson’s clothes, go to a grocery store, and might go work out at a class at 6:45 pm (but if I have been both Monday and Tuesday I do not go) I am now looking at trying to get down to $75 or maybe even $50 a week for grocery as my job. It is like I have a job paying me $5,000 a year and no taxes taken out of it. Right now I am only down to $130 a week. I just want to be a good steward of what God has so graciously given to us. I am so thankful for the blog world and having tips from so many stay at home moms on how to save money.

Fridays:

Charlie is usually off unless he is the minister on duty and so he sleeps in and I take care of Jackson. After making lunch at home, I usually run some errands by myself while Charlie has Jackson. Friday nights we like to do something with someone at the church that we have not gotten to know very well yet

Saturdays

Usually, Saturdays are my morning to sleep or go to Body Combat class. We usually do major cleaning this day. We really try to rest and have this as our “day off” - it is hard though. I think it is important to schedule time for both the husband and the wife for some "time off" from everything. I am so blessed to have a husband who enjoys being with Jackson 1 night a week and 1 morning so I can go to my workout classes.

Sundays

Sundays are by far the busiest day of the week. Jackson and I have to be at church by 9 am which can be a challenge (I get up at 6:30). It is just hard to get Jackson all dressed up and of course he takes forever to eat his breakfast on these days. I am now with the 4^th grade girls and teach them once a month. Charlie has to be there by 8 am so he is out the door by like 7:40 am.

We are home by 12:30 usually. Jackson is really tired and his schedule is all crazy. He will not sleep very long here because he has not eaten enough usually. He wants to go back to sleep at like 4:30 pm so we have a hard time going to Awana and helping out at night. Awana is from 5-7 pm. I will love it when he is on the new schedule (when he turns 18 months) of sleeping from like 1:30-4 pm because he will be going to bed earlier and we will be able to go to AWANA more. Charlie does not get back till like 7:30 or 8 on these nights and he leaves at like 4 pm.

Hope his is helpful. Let me know if you have any questions or tips for my weekly schedule (it is about to change though) We hope to rest more and have a true Sabbath on Saturdays by doing more cleaning throughout the week. Now that I am readying through Exodus, I really see how important it is to God for us to have a day of rest. Any suggestions on how to have a real day of rest, I am all ears! I would love to know if you have a weekly cleaning schedule....It would be great if you could share it here with us.

Depression, Stubborn Darkness, Class#3

Key Points on Depression:

1. Depression=self focused, hopeless, emotional pain; an introverted form of suffering that totally obscures hope
2. “Causes” of depression are multiple and sometimes complex. Depression is a pneuma-bio-social phenomenon. Depression always has significant spiritual components. Spurgon, Rainer, and Carey all struggled with depression
3. Suffering invariably reveals that allegiance of our hearts. Depression is more than just a feeling. It is something we “do.” Depression speaks; it says something.
4. Key spiritual foci when counseling depression: excessive self-focus and hopelessness
5. Initial counseling strategies:

Lead with mercy and compassion (Jms. 2:13)

Provide biblical hope and encouragement (Rms. 8:28)

Understand and assess

Explicitly commit yourself to counsel/disciple them as long as necessary

6. Develop and elicit commitment to initial steps of trust and obedience: assign direct, simple, achievable homework/goals
7. Diagnose heart condition/spiritual/God-related issues.
1. Invite the counselee to examine their own heart
2. Identify hopelessness and self-focus
3. What is the depression saying?
8. Renew the mind (Rom 12:2; Eph. 4:23, Phil 4:8)
1. Take the soul to task; “you must preach to yourself (M. Lloyd Jones); the depressed person must talk to themselves rather than just letting their depression talk to and beguile them into staying in the pit (Ps. 42, 43)
2. “Watch how you muse and what you choose when you lose” (Jim Berg)
9. Deal with passivity and lack of motivation
1. increase pleasure activities
2. increase competency activities
3. increase altruism/love others
4. attack procrastination
10. Practice RX: put off/putt on – from/to
1. sleep
2. exercise
3. diet/nutrition
4. spiritual disciplines
5. relationships

• Discipline of Grace, Jerry Bridges is a great book and has great examples. Many Christians just put it on cruise control
• 2 Tim. 4 (The Race and The Fight) War is going on in her heart. Remind her over and over again who she is in Christ. Sin is not stronger than she is.
• Must get that following God is not passive, there is no shortcuts in holiness. No book can do it for her, she needs to fight, fight, fight.
• Many women describe depression as a pain that is crippling, a room, a black hole that they just cannot get out of. Ask them what they mean! It is a form of suffering (Prob. 18:17) and women are 2 times more likely to become depressed than men. It is not simply hormones, it is very complex.

Basic Types of Depression:

1. Premenstrual Disphoric Disorder (PDD)--- This is severe king and it a deeper level of depression for 1 to 2 weeks before cycle (3-5%) all women
2. Post Partum Depression --- 10-20% of first time mom have some version Baby Blues (see counseling manual) 1 week after birth, massive hormone changes.
3. S.A.D. (Seasonal) women or 3 times more likely than men. Not a lot of exposure to sun
4. Bipolar, most all insurances will cover this one so sometimes over diagnosed
5. Dysthemia, mild to moderate depression for 1-2 years.
6. Major Depression, suicidal! Lost touch with reality, nothing is good, cannot get out of bed for anything, her body is heavy. Having these symptoms for t least 2 weeks. 50% have recurrences especial if they struggle with it early on in life.

Could be many biological factors even chronic stress, lack of sleep, overworking

What are your goals when counseling (Big Picture)

1. For God to be glorified in her life and be sanctified
2. to know Him and trust hum
3. her faith to be purified
4. grow in the fear of God
5. mind of Christ
6. love others
7. her heart reveals who/what she is living for

Ladies, do you actively forgive?

This is from the class I taught Saturday at the church and much of the information I got from Mindy Williams at SEBTS

Forgiveness

Is a huge issue in counseling and often times you will be called to ask her to forgive (either obey or disobey God’s word)

• There is no way to imitate Christ more than when we forgive!
• Helping women forgive others is the biggest think we can help women to do. Call them to forgive
• Women do not practice forgiveness (mother-in-laws, example of Mindy)
• You must forgive _________ and all the ways she has sinned against her. There are no buts you must forgive to move on

Forgiveness Does Not Mean:

• That what happened to this woman was no big deal
• Or that we are just excusing it
• It is not based on if the other person apologizes
• Does not mean that the relationship will just go back to the same way it was (consequences are still there)
• It IS something you have to do even when you do not feel like it (ex. “when I have healed I will forgive

Forgiveness Is:

• Realizing who she is in Christ and how much she has been forgiven
• Matthew 18:21- Have them read it out loud and take their sin seriously. Who are you in this passage?
• We can never pay God back our huge debt.
• Jesus calls us who do not forgive wicked

Facts on Forgiveness:

• It is not based on feelings! (I will forgive when I feel like it)
• It is a decision of the will. It is part of the fight of faith!!!!! of obeying God
• Ask her and yourself are you going to obey God or not? It is so powerful when we obey God. It is life changing. Not waiting on peace until you forgive
• It is giving someone mercy instead of wrath that they deserve, in the same way that Christ gave you mercy
• It is to be given repeatedly for same sins (how many times 7 times 70)
• Future Grace is a great book by John Piper. Know that God is a God of justice and one say he will settle her accounts more justly than she ever could (Hell) “If you hold a Grudge you doubt the Judge.” The greater the offence the greater glory He gets! Vengeance is the Lord’s. Look to the Cross
• Mark 11:25
• When you are counseling listen for unforgiveness

How can we help her Forgive?

1. Have her list all the ways that person has sinned against them. Do one person at a time. With the list look out for language such as he mad me feel this way. The other person can have an influence but it is not the determinative. Explain things on the list.
2. Pray through this list and forgive them by stating I am forgiving him or her for___________ For example Pray: God I forgive my dad for not helping me Today I forgive him before you God.
3. This can take days and tear up the list after
4. Help her understand the Sovereignty of God over her life and her past. He is working for her good and his glory. God is at work even now. Forgiving a person is part of his work and it surely shapes her to the image of Christ
5. God will give her the grace to do it, it is not by her own strength
6. Making 2 commitments before God (I think this is from a book Peace Making Families)

a) You are not going to bring it up again to others. It is forgiven. You can bring it up in a testimonial situation

b) You are not going to bring it up to yourself. If it comes to your mind filter it out Do not let you think about it twice. Fight!

7. Do not focus on if you really did forgive that person (It is important that you forgave to the best of your ability)
8. Be in the habit of praying through forgiving someone (it would be good not to have to make some long list every time)

Inevitability of suffering-My Intro to Counselling Women Class

Well the first class went real well and here is a little bit of what I shared. Most of my material comes from the counselling women class I took in seminary.

Inevitability of Suffering-Job Chapter 1

I. Suffering will happen to the best of us (vs 1-5)

a. Look at verse one Job was “blameless and upright” repeat and he feared God and shunned evil. Very wealthy and blessed person

b. Burnt offering for his children (vs. 5)

c. Job is a good man he walked with the Lord daily. When storm comes up Job stands. When counsel women where are they?

d.

II. God allowed Satan to Tempt Job- (vs. 6-12)

a. Satan has to get permission to test Job. The Lord rules over Satan and he does no more or no less than the Lord will let him do.

b. What is God up too? He wants to demonstrate his own goodness and glory not just his power but he is a good God worthy of honor and worship.

c. Have to be confident in God’s Sovereignty and God’s goodness or you will not be in counseling long.

d. Either God is Lord of all or not Lord of all there is no middle ground. Facing evil is hard---women have real issues real abuse have to believe that God is both good and in control (why bad things happen to good people). If God is not in control---who is? Are you in control? Is Satan in control? How can Satan be complelty in control over this earth when God created Him.

III. Suffering will happen to the People we love (vs. 13-19)

IV. Job chooses to worship the Lord (vs. 20-22) Read these verses

a. What does Job do vs. 20 he falls on his face and worships the Lord. He morns he falls on his face he is emotionally honest with his loss.

b. Have they stopped worshipping God? One of the most important aspects in true Biblical counseling is worship that glorifies God.

c. Who is she worshipping???? In data gathering when you are listening to her.

d. Everything was given to Job by God and he has a right to take it away he is an all powerful good God. Where is she at? Does she think she deserves everything?

Chapter 2:

Vs. 9

1. Wife knows that God is in control and able to stop this verse 9. She knows he is all powerful now she believes he is not fair not good.
2. Will you chose to curse Him or worship Him?

Psalm 139—Oh Lord you have searched me and you know me.

Ephesians 1:11 works all things according to the counsel of his will.

Must memorize Romans 8:28 all things to conform her to the image of Christ not temporary happiness but eternal joy. Might not include everything going right. Oh to know him and to live inside this massive promise. Homework bring card.


Counseling is like surgery we do not want to do plastic surgery we are concerned with the heart. Counseling is concerned with the heart change. From the overflow of the heart comes her actions.

Reasons why women need counseling

1. To offer her hope. To show her that Christ is working. For her to be confident that God is sovereign and up to something good no matter what (to get her excited about God being at work)
2. Women need to see their life from a God centered perspective not a “me” centered. Piper quote “Do you feel more loved by God when God makes much of you or when God at the cost of His Son allows you to enjoy making much of him forever?
3. Before the face of God. We need to see our lives lived out before the face of God ---there is no God free zones for his mercy and Grace
4. Close the gap between Bible land and everyday land. Live out theology
5. Enemy is within- the biggest enemy is ourselves not our husband---it is our own heart!

Two Worldviews:

1. Strengthen self, become independent
2. Deny yourself, become dependant on God and his Word

We were not created to worship ourselves

What is the ultimate goal of Biblical Counseling? Progressive Santification!!!! Not solving all your problems.

First Step Accepting Christ:

The Lord Jesus invites all who are weary and heavy with life’s burden to receive his rest (Matt. 11:28) The Bible declares that for those in Christ there is no judgment. The Bible declares that the sting of death is gone for those who are in Christ. Your fears are banished. Your frustration quieted. God has promised to never leave you. Right where you are now, give your heart and life to Jesus Christ. Say “Yes” to Christ. With every head bowed and every eye closed, pray:

Heavenly Father
I come to you in prayer asking for the forgiveness of
my Sins. I confess with my mouth and believe with my
heart that Jesus is your Son, And that he died on the
Cross at Calvary that I might be forgiven and have
Eternal Life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Father, I believe
that Jesus rose from the dead and I ask you right now
to come in to my life and be my personal Lord and
Savior. I turn from my sins and turn to you. I will Worship you all the
day's of my Life! Because your word is truth, I confess
with my mouth that I have I have been saved from sin and death! In Jesus Name, Amen

Books recommended:

1. Tripp, David Paul. (2002). Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company
2. MacArthur, John F., & Mack Wayne, A. (1994). Introduction To Biblical Counseling, Dallas: Word Publishing.
3. Welch, Edward T. (1997), When People Are Big and God is Small. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company.
4. Ganz, Richard. (1993). PsychoBabble. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Books.

Schedule:

1. Feb. 10^th How to Exact Do a Counseling Session/Brain Science/ Steps on Forgiveness
2. March 3^rd Bible Study on Counseling Depression
3. April 21^st Counseling Anxiety
4. May 19^th on Addictions,
5. June 9^th on Suicide, Abuse.
6. July 14^th, on Infertility, Abortion and Premenstrual disorder.