Here is what I learned through this awesome book (I stop posting what I have learned through page forty)
High Calling of Motherhood:
She explains that she has “kissed away boo-boos and washed away the tears. I praised, rebuked, encouraged, hugged, and tested my patience all before noon. God does have important job for me, and it does require much skill. It is my calling, my priority, my struggle, and my goal. I will rise to the occasion and accept the task at hand. I will love, nurture, and train my children the way that God called me to do. Mom, we need to be reminded of the awesome responsibility that God has given us. When we respond to the high calling of motherhood with passion, the rewards are far greater than any we could ever gain outside of that calling. The joys of motherhood are rare and beautiful treasures that can be easily missed if we don’t seize the opportunity to grab them."
A Biblical View of Discipline
It is easy for us to tell our children that they have done wrong and to chastise them for it, but it takes much more preparation, discipline, understanding, and self-control on our parts to actually instruct them according to God’s Word. This approach takes much brain activity that requires us to think through and verbalize that faithful instruction.
The Situation of Sharing
Plowman states that in the situation of sharing she prayed and searched the Scriptures for how she might handle this type of conflict. She states that she can tell us how she handles it at her home, but she is not saying that her way is the only way or the best way. She wants to address the issue of the heart, to simplify her method, and to promote peace. They came up with a rule that it is not only selfish but rude to take or even ask for something that someone else has until that person is obviously through with it.
Here is how the rule operates in their home. Suppose Wesley is playing with a toy. When Alex was younger, if she wanted it, she would just try to take it away. Now that she is older she might politely ask, “Wesley, may I please have that toy now? If she attempts to take the toy, she usually responds with something like this (Jesus asked some hard questions like these as well reaching the hearts of people).
“Honey Wesley has that toy right now. Do you think he is enjoying playing with it?
“Yes ma’am.”
“Do you think it would make him happy or sad if you took it away?”
“Sad”
“Would you delight in making your brother sad?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Do you think that it would be kind or rude for you to try to take away something that he is enjoying?”
“Rude.”
“That’s right, Alex, and love is not rude. When Wesley is through with it and puts it down then you may ask for it.”
These questions are great! Now, of course for Jackson I just am asking him one question right now and explaining to him that love is not rude. Of course, I am already dealing with sharing with Jackson. Instead of making the excuse that he is too young to understand or that he does not really understand, I explain to him that he has his toys and when Rivers is done with the toy he may ask for it. We went over to the Crowson’s house yesterday and played (we were going to try to go to the zoo but it was way too cold and rainy). Jackson and Rivers love to hug and love each other and we are teaching them to share. Rivers is about a year older than Jackson. I do not want to teach Jackson that because Rivers had something first then he can't play with it. This will create a desire for Jackson to just try to get toys first and encourage a greedy heart. Instead, I want to explain that we love Rivers, and taking her toy is not loving her, it is being rude. So, Jackson hugged Rivers a good bit as you can see in the pictures, and we applauded Jackson and he was very happy with himself.
Next post I will post about how Plowman recommends Biblically dealing with hitting.
How do you deal with teaching your children to share? I would love to hear (especially how to teach an 18 month old to share)!
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