3 Quick Tips for Moms (What God has been teaching me)
- Time how long it actually takes you to clean a certain area. This really helps you focus on the task at hand, and helps you not waste any of your precious time. For some reason, I take forever to unload the dishwasher. So I got my timer out and timed me, and it did take me 7 whole minutes, but Jackson was asleep so I was being very quiet. While you clean, listen to your ipod with sermon podcasts or put on some of your favorite music. Another suggestion is to memorize Scripture while you clean, this helps your mind from wondering and worrying. Go here to this mom’s blog and her inspiring post on cleaning a big mess in 15 minutes: http://choosingsimplicity.blogspot.com/2008/03/simply-overwhelmed-to-simply-overjoyed.html
- When disciplining your child us both the rod and correction no matter how old your child is. Jackson has been hard to discipline recently. He gets extremely frustrated and he is a very sensitive child. I am reading the best book right now from a mom’s perspective that I have ever read, “Don’t Make Me Count to Three!” by Ginger Plowman. I am so thankful to God for this book in my life and I can hardly put the book down. I will be blogging more about this book soon! She asserts that certainly God has called us to use the rod to drive foolishness from the hearts of our children. We are told in Proverbs 22:15, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from it.” But, Scripture calls us to instruct them which I believe is equally important. Ephesians 6:4 states, “…bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” I think part of the reason why Jackson has been so frustrated is that I have been using the rod, but I have not instructed him or shown him what to do instead of hitting things. It is like I have been trying to train a cute little puppy by spanking him every time he uses the bathroom on the floor, but not taking him outside to show him that this is where you are to use the restroom (or providing a way of escape). Plowman explains that discipline without instruction will exasperate and lead to anger. My plan is that when he hits me in frustration to tell him that that action does not please God and that if he does it again he will get a spanking. If he does it again, he will get a spanking with the wooden spoon, and then I will explain that he needs to love other people by hugging them not hitting them. He loves to hug people and if he can replace slapping anything in site with loving people when he does not gets his way, this will be an improvement. I really need to instruct him on what he should do, and I know now that this will work better than just spanking him. If anyone else has any more advice on how to deal with an 18 month old slapping people’s arms let me know. I am just not completely sure on how to exactly instruct an 18 month old and his melt downs when he does not get his way.
- If you have a baby, do not buy way over priced baby food. Use a baby food grinder that money saving mom uses. I will not be buying jarred baby food for my next child. Go here to see her post: http://www.moneysavingmom.com/2008/03/feeding-babies-nutritiously-on-limited.html
10 comments:
Emily, this book sounds awesome! I'm going to buy it as soon as I can. Thank you for always keeping your blog up!
I do make my own baby food nad am so glad because we looked yesterday at a jar of baby food here at the bio ones were like 1.49 per jar and one bio yam costs less than that and makes like 3 jars! I save SO much money doing my own! I buy frozen bio peas and that also makes 4 big jars of food. We had to buy a blender and that was an investment, but I think that it will pay for itself in a few months from saving money from the baby jars.
This book really is incredible and I just love that is from a mom's perspective. I will be posting more on this book soon. I really go through phases where I post a lot and this is definitely one of them...haha.
I glad to hear that you make your own baby food. I would love to hear more about how exactly you make your own food.
So glad to hear from you! How long are you going to be in England?
Ps- Baby food here is about 74 cents on average. Some grocery stores give you coupons for them at the end of the purchase when you buy them at their store for 50 cents off when you buy a certain number of them, but it still makes them way over priced. When Jackson would not eat one jar on a certain day, I would get so upset because it is like throwing away 74 cents. I will not be making the same mistake again by buying them with our next child.
Emily, you are right, discipline is SO hard! When Samuel was Jackson's age, he did many of the same things. Here's some advice that a Speech-Language Pathologist gave me...
Young children often don't have the language to express what they really want. If your child hits you and says "milk," if he wants milk, tell him not to hit, but also give him the language for what he wants to say. Ask him to repeat "I would like some milk, please." This not only gives him practice with speaking in sentences, but also allows him to hear language appropriately.
Once Samuel started talking better, many of the fits went away. I also learned to leave the room when he was throwing a fit. Many times he would stop because his "audience" was gone.
We do believe in spanking, and that does help, too. May God bless you as you continue to learn about discipline. I know that it is a never ending process that I continue to learn about as Samuel enters each new stage.
Merritt P.
Merritt!
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. Your advice is so helpful. It is hard because Jackson cannot fully communicate with me and when he wants something or sets his mind to it, in his mind it is going to happen no matter what. This is hard....
God is teaching me so much right now through Jackson, His Word, and this book I am reading.
I loved to hear from you, I would love to hear any more advice you have in the future, since you just went through parenting a toddler!
Oh! Well, our jars are two times as big as the jars in the states, I think. Plus, I look at bio and that makes it more expensive probably. Right now, Lael is jus ton veggies and fruits, so I simply cook them and then puree with a puree stick! I buy them all fresh from the market, but stuff like peas, the Germans don't have fresh so I buy them bio frozen. Peas I have to use the blender because of the skin, but otherwise, it takes 20 minutes and I have like 3-4 jars! It's great and I feel so good about what I'm feeding her.
Also, thanks for that timing idea, I'm so going to do it. When I clean, I usually get caught up in doing other stuff and it takes me twice as long because I get distracted in another room.
We're leaving for England in August and should be there 2 years. Artur will finish his bachelors and masters while we're there and then it's NO more school! I can't believe it! I look forward to being finished, but I know this time in our lives is just a season and is a very sweet season at that. I hope you guys are doing well!
oh, and with the veggies and fruits, I add a tiny bit of water to make is as little more fluid and I also add a little bio rapeseed oil. I don't know if they have that in the states, I have never heard of it! But, it's really natural here and that's what all the german books say to add so it can be digested better and it's good for the babies.
While the old testament is useful, I believe that we must act how Jesus did, and take his teachings over any other teachings in the old testament, as he commanded. If he said turn the other cheek, that certainly does not mean you return in spanking. It will not make sense to the child when you say, "no hit" and then you turn around and hit him - no matter what measure or manner. You must hold his hands, say no hit, give him the language he needs, and if he continues, you must remove yourself from him by putting him in his room with a baby gate up for one minute. if he returns with the behavior after the minute, or however old he is = the number of minutes, then simply put him back in time out. If you start at this age, it will train him. it works. when he's older, he will still get time outs, which get longer as he gets older as explained. but if you hit, there will come a day when he/she will become desensitized to it, and won't care anymore, and eventually as a teen, will hit back... if it's ok for my parents it's ok for me. Remember, this is a child of God and a gift for you for the moment. People of the old testament saw children as obstacles, not as important as adults, as we see explained in Luck 15-17. But Jesus is quick to correct them. "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them..." If I hurt my child, and them teach him that God says I should do this, do you think he will be more apt to go to God when he needs help? This would be hindering him. There are many ways to hinder a child from coming to Jesus. Please pray and read the new testatment before continuing corporal punishment.
Your sister in Christ,
Maria
sorry for the typo, I meant Luke 18:15-17
Maria,
This is when I would love to talk to you in person not on the blog because I know it would come across more loving but I will just make a few points.
1. When Jesus is speaking of turning the other cheek he is speaking of relationships with other people, specifically, how to love others. Jesus is not talking about raising children in this passage so this is out of place on child-rearing issues. When we do have a dispute with a fellow Christians or non-Christians (not our children), we are to try to work it by confronting and asking them to stop certain behavior. If they refuse to stop then Scripture tells us to get a judge (if they are a Christian the judge showed be a leader or pastor in the church) to decide the case. Anyway, this passage is not even hinting at how we are raise up children in the admonition of the Lord.
2. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness (2 Tim 3:1) Not Just the New Testament! For me this is a hill on which to die. Proverbs has a great deal to say about spanking and I will just quote a few hear. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” Proverbs 13:24. Wow, the Bible says if you spare the rod you hate your own son. That is really strong language, and this is why I am speaking strongly here. It is hard to spank you children, but if you do not use the rod on your children, ultimately, you are not showing love for them. Proverbs 23:13-14 states, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” We are called to punish our children with the rod to save our children’s soul from death! Proverbs is God’s little nuggets of advice for us. Three spankings with the wooden spoon, after I have given Jackson a warning that if he hits again, he will get spanked, is not corporal punishment. I know we are probably going to have to agree to disagree, but I cannot tell you how many examples I know of parents who did not spank their children in loving way, who regret it and whose children are far away from the Lord. Also, I do not plan to spank my children when they are teenagers. At that point loving communication is about the only tool that you have. According to Hebrew tradition and language, a person is a child until age twelve. Also, I try to be as biblical as possible in my parenting and the Bible does not speak of “time-outs.” It speaks of loving discipline with open and honest communication and the rod. My goal in parenting is heart-change not behavior modification.
Jesus did say Let the little children come to me. He said this because the disciples where not letting the little children near him. He loves children just as much as adults. Furthermore, he used the expression to let the little children come to him to accentuate the point that people have to come to Jesus with a childlike faith. The children didn’t sit around and debate as to whether or not Jesus was the Christ – they had faith that he was. Jesus did not come to abolish the Old Testament, but to fulfill it! Praise God!
Thank you for your comments. You might have posted a while ago; we have been out of town at a conference. I really love to hear what my readers are thinking about parenting issues, so your comments where very helpful. Feel free to post again, I think healthy discussions help us learn and grow through our walk with Him.
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