Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday's Word: Salvation is the Ultimate Goal of Spanking

"Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

If you strike him with the rod,
you will save his soul from Sheol" (ESV)

Proverbs 23:13-14

Correction is Sanctification.

Points Come Straight from the Text:

1. Don’t withhold Correction

2. Don’t worry about the possible negative effects of spanking/correction

3. Spanking/Correction may save your child’s life (physical and spiritual)

I really have been holding off writing about spanking again, since one of the last times I did I got 19 comments and had some upset women commenting. You can click on my label spanking to see past posts on this issue.

However, yesterday in my daily reading, this was the Proverb for the day.

The Bible does not command us to do crazy forms of discipline where we make our children, eat soap, etc. The Bible commands us to use the rod.

The rod in our house is a wooden spoon. Jackson is warned he will get a spanking if his action can hurt himself or others. Many times now, all I have to do is bring out the wooden spoon and he chooses not to sin. I always give him one warning so he knows his action is harmful. I give him three spankings on his bottom each time I spank him. If we are in public we go to the bathroom and into a stall. The point of spanking is never to embarrass him and correcting him is between me, him, and God.

One day he did get three spankings pretty close together and after that, I put him in his room for 10 minutes. My personal limit is no more than 3 spankings in one day, but he has only done that one day. That particular day he was really bored and I had planned nothing for him to do. It is important when disciplining a child, to direct them on what they should be doing instead. This will probably mean that I will need to play with a toy with him and work on his speech and stop what I am doing.

Once he turns 12 year old we will probably have a coming of age party for him, and he will no longer be a child and the rod will no longer be an option for correction for us.

The key after spanking is to restore Jackson. He says he is sorry for his sins and feels remorse for it. I tell him a love him, and I want him to train him to have a heart that loves me and God by his actions. I try my best to be completely focused on his heart


Jaime said...

I have a question for you. What age did you start spanking Jackson? I agree with you by the way. The Bible (which is NEVER wrong) does instruct us to spank as parents.

My 18 month old is now starting to act defiantly (like kicking when changing her diaper) and I have given her a few swats after explaining (calmly) what was going on. I just want her to be able to understand and I don't want to be doing this too early.

Emily Wallace said...

That is a very good question because I am asking myself that same question now that I have a 8 month old.

We did spank Jackson at 12 months old but I really feel like he did not understand what was going on at all. Time outs in the pack in play worked well for a while, but then it came a point were unless he was spanked he would keep on going back to the same thing that could hurt himself over and over again. Around 15-18 months old, he totally understood.

If I was you, I would start now. I do not think 18 months old is too early at all, and you do not want her to remember a time that she did not get spanked. I think it would be better to start a little early, than too late. Plus girls mature much faster than boys. Always be consistent and give her one warning by saying, "no, this is your one warning to stop or you get a spanking." She might not feel safe if you just start spanking her out of the blue for her with no verbal warning. While changing diapers, I try to give my baby a book or toy so she is not completely bored and annoyed with getting her diaper changed.

I totally understand what you are saying though, 18 months old is a hard age and they cannot fully verbally communicate with you which is frustrating to you as a parent and to them! Good to hear from you and keep me updated.

Anonymous said...

What if he hasn't been saved by the time he turns 12? Will you continue to hit him until he confesses Jesus is God? Also, there are plenty of Christians who never suffered this kind of abuse.

Anonymous said...

What if he isn't saved by the time he's 12? Does that mean you didn't hit him often enough? Also, I hope you can appreciate the irony of teaching him to not hit people by hitting him.

Brooke said...

Hi, my name is Brooke. I've been following your blog for the last couple of weeks. As a fellow Christian, coupon user, and mom, I enjoy your site.

I've read all your posts on spanking and agree with you. I feel your doing it correctly. Spanking done correctly is a very loving form of discipline. If God instructs us to spank our kids, then it is what is best for them. God would never tell us to do something that would physically or emotionally harm our kids.

Spanking done correctly is not abusive. It is not done in anger. No yelling, mean looks, or angry words are involved. You calmly tell your child what they're doing wrong, give them a warning, let them know you will spank them if they continue, and then spank them if they disobey. Afterwords,you give them hugs and kisses, let them know again what they did wrong and what they should do in the future, and then let them know how much you love them.

Of cours Emily won't beat salvation into her children. It's a free will decision to get saved. What Emily means is that spanking teaches kids the kind of self control and discipline that they need to accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour.

What Emily is doing is in no way shape or form abusive. The term abuse is thrown around too lightly. Abuse would be yelling at your kids, speaking meanly to them, hitting them, leaving bruises, and much more horrible things.

Anonymous said...

You are a product tester and frequently bring your work home. Yesterday, while dressed in a flame resistant suit (up to 3,000 degrees) and carrying the latest model fire extinguisher, you discover your neighbor's house is on fire. As the flames quickly spread, you stand and watch your neighbor's new baby burn to death. Which of the following best describes your behavior?

a. All-powerful
b. All-knowing
c. All-loving
d. Mysterious

Charlie Wallace said...

Flame-tester poster,

I applaud you for your compassion and mercy of the situation described. If there is a God, you get that from Him, since He created you. If there is not God - where do you get these strong feelings from? If there is no God, and Darwin was right, then we are all selfish beings existing for survival. Rescuing a baby at that point would be above and beyond the call of duty.